Ya I’m again at it, is this the only way I can talk my feelings out ? Will I ever get that time again to talk our hearts out and forget there is another world around us ? I have wondered and questioned myself, my heart and my soul, why I feel what it feel for you, with you and around you and whenever I think of you (which is all the time). Every single second I spend with you is when my heart and my soul is breathing.

I might be millions of miles away…. I might not be around you but I’m always there for you. Holding your hand always makes me feel that I can’t ever let go of your hand, I don’t know if I can ever let go of you or your hand. I might hate you for always being in love with you, I might always try to convince myself that I don’t want you, I don’t love you, I don’t want you but the truth is I love you, I miss you, I will never ever be able to give up on you or let you go. However, wherever, whatever you do to push me away its simply not possible.

You know I always wondered is real love like this ? I don’t know who is going to judge me for this, I feel even you judge me. But deep down in my heart I know, no one else comes close to what I feel for you I’m saying this not as a competition but as a re-assurance that my love for you has only grown with my age (Which is catching up rapidly every day with my whiter beard every year :) )

It’s crazy to see how I look back the past 20 years and realise how the world has changed around me but still you are my world. Even now you ask why ? I still didn’t find the right language to express this. Will I ever be able to ?

When I hug you, I want the world to just pause and let my soul breathe. I’m no longer suffocating, I’m no longer looking for any answers. It has nothing to do with any questions, your hug is just the peace and love I’m looking for ever.

It’s funny right, people say find someone who make you happy ? But you know yourself better that no one is going to make you happy than your own self. I have an exception to that… and my exception is You.

My heart says that you are being careful by being quite, you actually do have a lot to say, but you are choosing not to open up. The wait is the journey I’m willing to travel no matter if it takes days, months, years, or more than one lifetime.

Until I find more words,

I …… You,

KC.