Hola! Yourself. Today is the day and 2023 is the year where everything changes. It might end before beginning today i.e the 3rd of Jan 2023. But do know I love, loved and will always love you more than anyone can even imagine or talk about… and yes it is what it is.

You know I wanted that one more hug when I called you in the airport and said I love you ? Do you know that I have not said I love you to you more than the number of times I have said that in silence ?

I want to again tell you, that I never planned to fall in love with you, it happened without me even realising. It happened and I didn’t know what to do. It took over me as if I can only think about you and absolutely nothing else. It might be begging my manager to postpone some office appointments so that I can get the time to pick you up and drop you to work, boy oh boy that time makes me and my soul so happy that nothing else no amount of achievements have made me happy as much as that time.

I have spent nights talking to you in my dreams, whispering your name in my sleep. I thought of you all day and stayed up all night, I felt like a fish in a fishbowl trying to climb out but still falling back into the water harder and harder. I didn’t plan to fall in Love with you, I just started Loving you without my control.

Your smile, your dimples, your eyes, your presence…. And yes your hug makes my heart a ballet dancer performing to the most beautiful orchestra. It might just be your smile of a small goofy memory or how your face looks when I piss you off or make you laugh. My soul says just a little bit more of you…. I don’t know how or why but I miss you, I miss you all the time.

I don’t know when you slowly crept into my life, All I know is that you are in every thought of my life, every hour, every second , every achievement and every learning. The first thing after every event in my life is that I want to pick up the phone and call you…. Then I realise that I shouldn’t disturb you… you might have just moved on.

The moments I spend with you never makes me feel I ever missed you, but when I see you saying bye in person it hits me all over again. This is when I start telling myself that I’m just human and I don’t have control over my Love for you.

To be really frank, I never had much to offer, But I will always give you my everything. Even if its just scraps or millions or billions, I will give you everything. I will always give you late nights, hold your hand all the time, give you long hugs, small pecks all the time. But know this, I will always be there for you no matter what, I promise to give everything i.e. me every single time.

The thought of an earthquake today morning is making me write this but I hope this is enough. I’m sorry I didn’t know you for the first 16 years of our life, I’m sorry I constantly want to talk to you, I’m sorry I get sad when you take long to reply, I’m sorry I might constantly say I love you and that pisses you off, I know I can get annoying. I’m sorry you don’t want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you, I’m sorry I always think about you too much. I’m sorry I might have been too clingy with you last time we met, but it is just me who loves you and misses you and that is living a life time in every single second Im with you.

You know the day I thought I realised my love for you…. I was immediately struck with the fear of loosing you, even today that frightens me a lot.

I have realised our time is only ours and I will guard it with absolute secrecy going forward. (Paint me Stupid and also Idiot for talking about the movie)

Always and always…… I love you in the past, present and future more than anyone else in this universe.

With lots of thoughts and hoping this is not the last time yet,

Me.